Behind Closed Doors
by thebluegirl125
Summary: Everybody seems to be handling Lelouch vi Britannia's death well. Except, when they're not.
1. Chapter 1

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Nunally vi Britannia**

Sight was a wonderful sense.

Never before had colors seem more intriguing and vivid to Nunally. Never before did she see the hard and smooth planes on a person's face or the slight crease in the eyebrow of a frown. Sight had been such a lost sense to her that she almost didn't recognize the colors and almost closed her eyes once they revealed themselves to lilac-colored eyes.

But the young princess was enthralled. She sunk her teeth deep into those colors, her eyes feasting on any picture, any photograph and any old sight.

It was amazing.

Maybe when you are not seeing red.

_Red. When she first opened her eyes, it was what she could see. Harsh, cruel and sadistic red, a stark contrast against the ivory complexion of Britannia's finest robes. Made only for the Emperor._

_It is the first color that she recognized, but the first scene, the first picture that was still dappled with teardrops and blurred splotches, was more gruesome. There, toppling down the float's velvet-covered plane was the younger version of the black-haired prince and brother. Red gushed down from his middle, and he slid, his eyes partially closed and unseeing. Zero, a strange masked man stood on top, sword to the side still caked with blood._

_How awful the universe can be. This is the very example of the universe's cruel ways, the gods' manipulations to entertain themselves._

_When Nunally first opened her eyes, the future that unravelled before her was the death of her very own brother, whom she hasn't truly seen in years. _

_A scream tears through the atmosphere._

_Lelouch vi Britannia is dead._

With a jolt, the young Empress awoke and sat up in her bed, lilac eyes darting around every corner of her chambers in fear. A sigh escapes her lips once she realized it was all a dream.

Oh how she wished she could say that this dream was not a mere, gruesome replay of what happened only weeks ago. How she wished that her dearest elder brother would walk in through the doors, smiling and laughing in the way he only reserved for her.

But of course, Lelouch was dead.

The Empress leaned against the bedframe and willed the memories to go away. They were stubborn, and remained at the back of her mind, but at least they weren't as vivid.

Many ask Nunally about her welfare, physically and emotionally, and the gods know that she hasn't been holding up swimmingly, but as an Empress, she had to be the Empire's rock. The hollow pain that struck her in the strangest of times still continued to happen, and so did her nightmares that often ended up with Zero, the man who murdered Lelouch, walking in at midnight to console the princess.

Nunally couldn't find it within her to be angry with Zero. Not after holding Lelouch's hand during his final breaths, and getting this vision. A vision about the conversation the dying king had with Suzaku Kururugi, his faithful knight, who took on the mask of Zero.

The princess knows that the knight isn't holding up, not after murdering his own best friend and even brother.

Nunally sighed, and went back to sleep.

The gods surely knew how to have fun. At Nunally's expense.

Ten o'clock in the midmorning sharp, Nunally had to be in the central palaces of the Pendragon, where a meeting with political leaders around the world was to be commenced. A new peace treaty was to be made by all the representatives, and of course, Nunally was only informed now. It was currently 7:08 in the morning.

"Yes, yes, for this peace treaty, we will have _all _representatives under the Britannian Empire. Those who are faithful in the empire have their own leaders and therefore their voices shall be heard," Nunally softly said, speaking with her eldest brother, Schniezel el Britannia. Schniezel chuckled softly and said "Of course, of course, I shall relay the message to the others immediately," the prince immediately complied when it came to Nunally.

Nunally smiled but there was sadness in her.

Nations and Empires and organizations were trying to attain world peace, Lelouch's true intentions having been revealed a day after his assassination. Because of him, the world tried to live up to his goals, deciding to ignore his monstrous deeds and sadistic traits.

And yet, Lelouch himself won't be able to see this.

A sigh escapes Nunally's lips as she smiled a little wider for the servants that entered her study, holding various papers and whatnots that she requested for.

It was hard to move on and smile like everything was okay, but it was Nunally's own little secret.

What looked like a capable, strong Empress was actually a little fifteen year old girl who cried over her brother's death. It was, indeed, her little secret.

**End **

_Author's Note: I have no idea how to spell Schniezel so forgive me if the spelling is wrong *whoops* First ever Code Geass story! Actually, this is just a series of oneshots all about the aftermath of losing our one and only beloved Lelouch Lamperouge *sobs* Welp, I hope this turns out good! _


	2. Chapter 2

**C.C. **

A guttural scream escaped thin, bloodied lips. Curled, trembling hands pulled and tugged angrily at long, blood-soaked hair.

C.C. no longer teetered on the edge of sanity. No, she fell. She fell hard into the deep pool of insanity. Its tendrils crawled within her and scratched her insides and ripped through her organs. It attacked her mind and blurred her vision.

The immortal tried to kill herself. She held two weapons: the very sword that Zero used to kill Lelouch vi Britannia and the gun Lelouch used. Using the lethal sword, she ran it through her chest several times. The gun's bullets ripped through her skin yet only achieved in wounding her not killing her.

She sat on the ground, breathing heavily, screams and moans echoing against dully-painted walls. Blood pooled around her. The amount she lost would be enough to kill a person, but not her. Not a witch who has lived through time itself. Not a geass user who was cursed to immortality forever.

Footfalls sounded behind her.

A gentle hand placed itself on her shoulder, making her curl in within herself into a tight ball. Blood continued to stream down her body. She took a bloodbath.

The sword clattered noisily onto the floor. The gun was pried off her iron-grip fingers. Whoever it was didn't bother to clean her wounds or stop the bleeding. They would heal.

"You know you can't die. I don't know why you insist on trying to," a weary voice said near C.C.'s ear, but she didn't want to look up. The person sat beside her, seemingly uncaring about the blood that stained his jeans.

C.C. knew that the man beside her was Suzaku Kururugi.

Suzaku said "You should come to the palace. I doubt that those wounds will stop bleeding within the next hours. You'll get infections. I know it won't kill you, but they will hurt." C.C. cackled inhumanely, lifting her head up to give Suzaku a crazed look. "Why do you care so much, boya. This doesn't concern you in any way," she tilted her head.

Suzaku grimaced. The sight of blood rushing down her lips and pooling on her pale neck was disturbing.

"What makes him so different," Suzaku asked, a faraway look on his face, staring at something non-existent. C.C. choked, and a sob escaped her mouth, her eyes scrunching tight. She made a move for the sword but Suzaku's eyes were quick, and he grabbed her wrist.

"Tell me," Suzaku growled.

C.C. whispered "Monster."

Suzaku was silent.

"He was a monster, just like me. He killed innocents, just like me. He deceived, he lied, he was an intelligent and aloof fool who killed without batting an eyelash. He understood every nightmare that terrorized me in my sleep."

Suzaku said, a gentle tone smothering his voice and erasing the remains of a growl, "You have to move on. You've been around long enough to be my great, great, great grandmother…or older, but you have to move on."

C.C. stood up, ignoring the pain, scooping up the gun and pointing it at Suzaku. "How…how the hell can you say that? You were his best friend, you should know how this feels and that you just can't _move on_. No matter what you try, you see his face. His eyes, his lips, his hair. You can still hear his voice, and _damn it I need him_."

An insane laugh bubbled out of C.C.'s mouth.

Suzaku slowly walked forward, his arms slowly wrapping around C.C. in a hug.

C.C. screamed profanity after profanity. She growled and kicked and bit and punched. Suzaku wouldn't move.

And then, she began whispering heatedly about everything that she knew about Lelouch. Every detail, every subtle twitch or scratch, every word he had said about her, everything that annoyed or captivated him.

She mumbled something incoherent.

"What?" Suzaku still hasn't let go.

"I. Don't. Want. To. Forget. I don't want to move on," came her garbled reply.

Everything intelligent and calm has been expelled from her system. The immortal was broken in little pieces and she knew that if anybody tried to fix her, they'd bleed too.

Without thinking, she pulled the trigger and shot Suzaku.

He didn't flinch.

**End**

_A/N: Just to be clear, Suzaku doesn't die ahahaha. _

…_or does he?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Kallen**

"Is this your fourth?"

"It's my fifth," Kallen Kozuki harshly whispered. Her voice bounced off the dank walls of the palace's cells. A man she knew very well stood before her. Zero. Kallen had her suspicions about the masked man since before, and she ripped off Zero's mask when her leader was distracted and discovered it was Suzaku Kururugi, a man she once used to hate. Suzaku was forced to delve into details about Lelouch's grand plan that involved his own suicide and Kallen couldn't hate him. No matter how hard she tried. Not when Suzaku had such a great responsibility.

Kallen didn't like the idea of wallowing in sadness and pain. She didn't like the idea of being sentimental. Which is why she decided to get in her old Guren and started destroying things. Just to vent out. Just to see what it felt like to be under Zero's -the real Zero- command again. Just to feel like she was still part of something.

Of course, the title of being Zero's Ace was still placed upon her, but she didn't feel the same as she did before. Kallen used to be a part of a group who believed in freedom and the almost unconventional ways to achieve it. This is now a different group. This group was freedom, and all she was in charge of was putting out fires and settling down little riots. She didn't even get to use the Guren at times. She respected Nunally's orders and regarded Suzaku as her leader and colleague, but she needed the adrenaline. She needed the fire and passion of battle and the thrill of the kill. It was a mad addiction. A cruel lamp as she was a moth who desperately wanted to touch the light. It even scared her at times.

Most of all, she needed Lelouch. No matter how many times she tried to deny this she needed him like a drug user and he was her Refrain.

So Kallen was usually thrown in jail for her little outbursts. She never hurt anyone. Maybe she did. Once or twice.

"You cannot keep doing this to people and to structures. It terrifies them. It makes them think that this era of peace is fading," Suzaku berated softly. Kallen glared at him. Blood ran down the side of head and scorch marks donned her old Black Knights uniform. She chuckled darkly. "Does this ruin the image of the Britannian Empire, Suzaku? Does this make the others fear that you and the rest of the authorities don't have everything under control?"

The redhead stood and slammed her hands against the cell. Suzaku didn't even flinch as the metal bars rattled under her rage. "Does it?!" Kallen demanded. Suzaku was silent.

"I don't want to fight, Kallen. You are my friend and you are my Ace."

Kallen threw her head back and laughed. It wasn't filled with mirth or joy or anything relatively. It was mad and broken. "Friend? We were enemies for god's sake! You used to love being in the battlefield, Kururugi. You used to-"

"That was then, this is now. I only came out in the Lancelot when I needed to."

Kallen growled. She said "I don't care what you do to me, Kururugi. If you plan on making me stay here and letting me out with a warning or leaving me here to rot, it doesn't matter."

The redhead choked on her own words and breath. And still, Suzaku didn't move. "It doesn't matter anymore because he's dead," silent tears ran down Kallen's face, remembering one of the last things she and Zero did together. It was a kiss. It didn't last for long but at least she could still remember the feeling of those lips on hers.

"I'm leaving you here in the cell for three weeks. If I need to take matters into my own hands, I will. Just to get you to stop doing this insanity of yours," Suzaku said curtly.

Kallen snarled ferally, like an animal. But weren't they all animals? She was a wolf, in a pack of wolves, and their alpha was killed in battle. Their alpha's blood was spilled before them.

Suzaku paused.

"We are all trying to move on, Kallen. I suggest you use other ways to do so"

He leaves.

Kallen's anger reduced to guilt and fear. Today, she killed three people with families and children and jobs and now there are families who are broken and wide-eyed and silent and feeling the hollow pain Kallen felt now.

But then, Kallen laughed.

She decided that she no longer cared.

Suzaku trusted her too much. The guards were ordered to stand down once she was taken here. They didn't check her for weapons or objects that could potentially be the downfall of the empire. They had taken her into her cell without a word or a brief swipe for artillery.

"Well, you said to use other ways," Kallen mused. Pulling a dagger out of her pocket, she examined it for a few moments. It glittered like quicksilver underneath the faint glow of the dying lightbulb. The rest of the cell was dark and filled with shadows and demons that Kallen knew she had.

"Lelouch would want you to live," a voice said beside her. Suzaku was back.

"He wanted a lot of things. But we don't always get what we want, do we?" With that, the blade plunged into a heart that simply wanted to stop beating, and Kallen lay absolutely still. Suzaku opened the cell's door and knelt beside her, not once taking off Zero's mask. But he unclasped his cape and lay it on top of Kallen, who was slowly losing life and coming close to her last breath. He tucked her in like what her mother would do, when her mother wasn't so consumed by drugs and addiction. A few tears fell from her eyes.

"Tell him I said hello," Suzaku muttered.

Kallen laughed softly and nodded. She closed her eyes.

Everything was still. Another heartbeat gone.

_Author's Note: I'm sorry for killing off Kallen *wide-eyed and looks around* Gomen nasai! I had to! It kind of...added to the impact of Lelouch's death. And hey, they'll be united again in heaven, right? _


End file.
